Excerpt #4 – Chapter 2

After going back and reading each excerpt before posting, I can see a few, wee little problems. Since it was for NaNoWriMo (NationalNovelWritingMonth) I took their advice, instructions actually, to ‘lock up the inner editor’. I wasn’t sure I had one, but apparently I do . It’s not a horrible disaster or anything, the plot line and stuff just sort of goes everywhere. Like an explosion, hehehe……I didn’t have a plot line even in my head, when I sat down on November 1st. You can’t tell yet, just a warning. I’ll try to clean it up a bit…

I am also going to skip about a page. I left off with Avri and Christon starting out on Haven toward the river-caves. The next paragraph is just Avri and Christon riding on through Levladi, talking about how it ‘looks like another snowstorm is approaching’, ‘keep going a little more to the left’, riding in silence, Christon is miserablely uncomfortable. ‘Actually it looks more like a thunderstorm, but rain or snow, it will cover our tracks.’ Spoke too soon! Here they come, Hunters on horses. Avri and Christon can’t see them or tell how many, but they are closely following. ‘Keep going left’…’A little more to the left’ This is Christon reminding Avri, he has to shout over the pounding of the horse’s hooves. After about the seventh time, Avri shouts: “I KNOW! LEFT! NOW STOP SHOUTING OR THEY’LL HEAR YOU!” She isn’t in the best of moods right now. They get a bit ahead of the Hunters and then reach the river. They find the fallen tree that marks the location of the tunnels. The tree reaches all the way to the other side of the river. Since they don’t have much time, Avri has to leave Haven behind. They hope that this will lead the Hunters to think they abandoned the horse so they could cross the river. Christon and Avri make their way down the side of the river wall, the entrance to the tunnel is hidden by a boulder. After that begins:

Chapter 2

Commander Steinarr clenched his fists as he listened to his men complaining amongst themselves, They sound more like spoiled children than men. He thought, as he stared deeper into the darkening forest. Steinarr had created a distance between himself and his camp, he didn’t need their griping distracting him from his thinking.
All tragedies known to man upon that infesting, weak-minded blight of humanity! Followers…the goal of The Hunters was to rid the fair land of Denoa of those liars. His newest quarry, a child, had managed to escape from him. He had discovered only five months ago that a single member of a family that believed those cursed lies had evaded her death sentence. He had been second in command of the group that finished her family off. Now he was in command of his own group of Hunters; his men had not understood how one girl would be any threat or worth going after. He knew though. It only takes one person to spread the disease of those…Followers. It was also something personal to him: a task he had been in part responsible for completing had gone unfinished.
He spat at the ground, the movement reminded him of yet another disgrace. Stabbing pain shot from his shoulder, down the right side of his back and chest, arching all the way up his neck. His wound was only minor compared to others he and his comrades had received in past years, but the shame of being maimed by a child Follower, and whoever her friend was hidden in the trees, was far worse than any wound. Yes, he will find her; and she will pay dearly.
“Ach! What are ya complaining about, yew whining weakling! Look, at my leg! I can barely move it. Aye, whoever shot me’ll be sorry ‘e was born!” One of Steinarr’s men, Shalin, was saying.
“Hah!” another, Lython, exclaimed. “I’ll wager when you find ‘im you’ll thank ‘im! All you did all day was get yourself shot an’ sit back at camp drowning your sorrows in the last o’ our ale!”
This angered the stout warrior and he jumped up as well as he could with a wounded a leg, and drew his broadsword. “Why I aughta carve out that wily tongue o’ yours an’ feed it to your useless horse!”
“Aye.” A third urged the two on. “Wily is right, Lython. I heard that you talked your way out o’ going with us to search the whelp’s camp. ‘Someone has to keep watch’ ye said. Ha!”
Steinarr turned slowly, and observed a fight between two of his warriors. One of them, Shalin, had been the other man wounded. And then there was Lython. He was one of the younger Hunters, a subordinate, always causing trouble in the group. The Commander would have to teach him to adhere to the chain of command, and his specific orders to not fight amongst themselves.
“Shalin, Lython!” Steinarr barked as he approached the center of camp. The other men fell silent; Lython released his stranglehold on Shalin, causing the man to fall to the ground. “Sir!” they responded in unison.
“Alright. Now, who’s going to explain to me how this started?” Both men lowered their gaze, they knew he had heard how the fight started. For Steinarr this was usually the only pleasure he received on the long hunts for Followers. He enjoyed reinforcing his command, he enjoyed watching his men squirm. “Well, I’m waiting! Who’s going first?” he snapped. Neither man answered. Steinarr grunted, his second in command, Dothga stood up and hollered at their men, “Well! Who’s going to answer the Commander!”
None responded. Steinarr noticed Gareth sitting at a corner of the camp, furthest away from the fire. He had been sharpening his sword and now was watching for the outcome of the episode with his dark, shadowy eyes.
Gareth was the youngest member of Steinarr’s group, only fifteen. But he had seen him fight, he had incredible potential; more than the rest of this half-witted lot put together. Steinarr sneered, “What about you, Gareth. Are you blind and deaf like the rest of them?” Shalin looked at Gareth with spite, he made a low growl in his throat warning the boy to stay silent. Shalin knew he was already in for it, but the less said the better for him. Gareth had already decided not say anything if he were asked, as unlikely as that had been, but he would not submit to this bumbling fool.
“No sir,” he said staring at Shalin in bold defiance. “Lython was complaining, Shalin must have wanted to exercise his self-pity and said Lython had nothing to complain about. Lython, basically said Shalin was lazy, Shalin challenged him and a fight ensued. That’s all I could tell you, Commander.”
“Thank you, Gareth…So Shalin, you challenged Lython, you’re his superior. I would expect more from you.”
“Uh…sir” the stocky man stuttered “…he…mmh…’e was actually, sir, the challenger!”
“Oh,…really?” Steinarr with a total lack of interest. This game was growing old.
“Yes…uh…he…he challenged my honor!”
Snorts of disbelief and amusement traveled through the soldiers. Steinarr smiled in amusement as well.
“Ah, yes! The honor of a man who sleeps while he is on watch and lets the enemy slip past him!” Shalin lowered his gaze again and winced, remembering the incident far too well.
Many men laughed, including Lython. Steinarr spun around and stared him down. “And what about the honor of a man that repeatedly fights amongst his own comrades, but prefers to let those same men do all the difficult work?
“You’re both on minimum rations and double night shifts for a fortnight!”
Lython glared at Gareth, who stared back at him with a blank look on his face but a dark look in his eyes. Lython shivered involuntarily, that boy disturbed him as he did the rest of the group. Commander Steinarr seemed to favor him though.The Commander continued speaking to all the men now. “I understand that the months we have been searching for a trail have been long and difficult. I know many of you have been opposed to hunting down a single girl…But your opinions do not change the decisions I have already made. Nor does your discomfort change my orders! Like the order that you ARE NOT TO FIGHT AMONGST YOURSELVES!”
He looked around the camp, examining each mans’ face. “Do I need to repeat myself, men!” he asked glowering at Lython and Shalin.
“No Sir!” They answered in unison again.
“Good. Dothga, we break camp early tomorrow, I want the horses packed and everyone prepared to leave before dawn. Understood?”
“Aye sir! Shalin you have the first two watches,” Dothga bellowed “Lython you have the second two!” He glanced at Steinarr for his consent. Steinarr nodded. Dothga began to shout out more orders to the rest of the men in preparation for breaking camp tomorrow.
Gareth went about his duties as he loaded the provisions and supplies alloted to him to carry. He eyed Lython and Shalin, they were glaring at him hatefully. He doubted they would try anything, that would only get them into deeper trouble. However, he usually slept with sword near to him, but tonight he would keep it a little closer.
Steinarr had gone back to his secluded area of the forest; it had begun to snow already. Soon it will come down harder and heavier. He crouched beneath a tree and flexed his wounded shoulder, but only a little. He winced, it was enough pain to remind him of his duty. That girl will pay!

I like Steinarr, he’s my favorite bad-guy yet…besides Lython, but that’s because of something I haven’t gotten to yet. (Yes, I do have a plot now.) No one will see it coming……

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